What Are Normal Behaviors During Sleep Training?
Learning any new skill takes time, practice, and patience. When you begin teaching your little one how to fall asleep on their own, remind yourself that it will take longer than 1 day or night for them to get used to the changes you are making in their sleep routine!
You may find yourself asking, “is this normal?” many times throughout the process of sleep training, so here are a list of behaviors or reactions that are in fact normal and will subside as your child masters their own independent sleep skills.
Lots of crying
If your partner took your pillow away tonight and told you to fall asleep without it, I bet you wouldn’t be happy about this change would you? So it’s fair to say that changing anyone’s sleep habits will be met with some initial protest! Expect higher levels of crying during the first two nights, but know that as your baby works to create their own self-soothing skills, the crying will lessen as long as you remain consistent in your responses and do not fall back into prior habits.
Extra clingy or moody during the day
As your little one begins to consolidate their sleep and sleep for longer stretches, this will help reduce any sleep debt they may have accumulated. As any human catches up on the sleep their body needs, whether it be a child or adult, it causes us to feel more tired and even a bit out of sorts. This is simply because our body is adjusting to a new way of sleeping and our cortisol hormone levels are returning to normal. So as your child catches up on sleep, they will also return to their usual temperament! Truly, most parents report that their baby is much happier after sleeping well for a week or two. In the meantime, soak up the extra snuggles and add in some special 1:1 time with your baby during wake times.
Crying during their bedtime routine
Some babies will start crying as soon as you enter their room or take them into the bathroom to start their bath. All this means is that they have begun to learn the predictability of their routine! You’ve done a great job being consistent. Just because they don’t like what comes at the end of the bedtime routine (i.e. being laid down for sleep), remaining consistent will help them soon learn that this routine leads to sleep and sleep is in fact wonderful. Many babies will go from fussing through bedtime routines to happily going into their cribs in a few weeks.
Crying or fussing when they see their crib
Again, this simply translates to your child not being fully comfortable with their sleep skills yet so they have some low-level anxiety surrounding the crib and what it signifies. As you continue teaching your little one that they can sleep on their own and master those skills, the crib becomes their favorite place to go when they are tired.
You can also consider adding in some room time that is not related to sleep to help your little one overcome this anxiousness. Playing in their room with you can create positive associations - so make sure to spend some time in there during wake times to read books, sing songs, and marvel at things together.
Poop interruptions
These can really throw a wrench in your best laid plans. You nailed the wake time and set the perfect stage, only for them to poop. How can you stay on track after this happens? Calmly change their diaper, preferably even while they stay in their crib, and continue right along with encouraging your baby to fall asleep on their own. It is normal to see a bowel movement occur due to the stimulation of a crying spell.
It is also very common to see poops appear mid-nap or in the early morning hours when you begin sleep training (or even adding solids into their diet). As your baby grows more comfortable with their new sleep habits and their body finds its new rhythm, oddly timed poops will stop. And on the flip side, it can also be normal for babies not to poop for a few days during sleep training as their bodies are adjusting.
Lots of crying after a few easy nights
This is referred to as an “extinction burst” and they are very common when you try to change any behavior. Here’s an example: you put money into a vending machine and after pushing your selection, nothing comes out. So you then repeatedly push the button again and again, waiting for your food to drop. You’ve learned what behavior and response should happen, so you keep trying to get the expected response. Same concept happens when we alter our children’s sleep habits - they’ll recall a behavior (like crying) and try one last time to see if they get the response that specific behavior used to produce (picking up, rocking, feeding, etc.) But when you remain consistent and follow through with your same methods, your little one will finally understand the new expectations and these resurgences disappear.
Those are a few of the most common behaviors that have raised concerns with families I have worked with. When you begin sleep training, it’s important to view it as a marathon, not a sprint, and make sure you are committed for the long haul! You won’t regret the brief time it takes to teach your little one these skills as it will forever payoff for the entire family.
“The habits that took months or years to build, do not take a day to change.” -Susan Powter
Sleep well!
