Juggling Bedtime Routines
Bedtime can be such a wonderful and sweet time of day with your little ones. It can also feel totally overwhelming and stressful as a parent when you are trying to get multiple children down around the same time! This can feel especially mind-boggling when you are bringing your new baby home and now have to figure out how to maintain some sense of order while you try to find 15 minutes to feed your newborn while getting your toddler into the bath. So today I have some tips for you who have two or three (or more!) kid routines and are struggling to find your bedtime groove.
1. Have one bedtime for all the children in the house
Many parents are surprised when I suggest that their 3-year-old should be going to bed around 7 pm, but even at that age children still need between 10-12 hours of sleep at night! Not including any daytime naps. So if your toddler needs to be up at 7 am, a 7 pm bedtime is not at all unreasonable. But if the idea of running multiple bedtimes simultaneously seems daunting, just keep on reading!
2. Team up and switch off (if you can)
If you are lucky and have a partner home and available in the evenings to help get the kids to bed, make a list of what needs to get done and split the tasks. Then switch off every night. This will prevent each of you from feeling like you drew the short straw and it allows your children to be accustomed to either parent putting them to bed. Win win!
3. Find opportunities to multitask
We are all parents, right? So through talent or necessity for survival, we are champions of multitasking. Trying to get through 2-3 completely separate bedtime routines will leave you exhausted and with later bedtimes than you were hoping for, so double up where you can. Let the kids take a bath together, feed the baby while reading a bedtime story to your toddler, sing bedtime songs while changing the baby’s diaper, etc.
4. Perfect and adhere to a 15-30 min bedtime routine
Consistent bedtime routines are vital to helping your children sleep through the night. Keeping them on a clock is a huge benefit, but it serves as an important signal to their brain and body that bedtime is approaching which stimulates melatonin production to prepare for a nice, long night’s sleep. A bath is a great place to start since it’s noticeably different that other activities children do during the day.
5. Save something special for bedtime
Usually, the older child is capable of entertaining themselves for a new minutes while you are finishing up with your youngest. Come up with a non-screen related activity that will keep your toddler entertained and quiet, and keep it exclusive to that window where you need to put the baby down. Don’t make it too stimulating or open-ended otherwise you could end up in a skirmish because the activity is too fun to put down. A special coloring book could be a great option.
6. Use child labor
Toddlers love structure and predictability, so creating a helper position at bedtime is a great way to keep them occupied while providing a feeling of accomplishment before they head to bed. Let them hand you diapers, creams, jammies, and other goods as you’re getting baby ready for bedtime.
7. Stick to your guns
Toddlers love to test boundaries constantly, and in a systemic fashion. (“I’m not allowed to throw the baseball in the house? OK. Let’s see if I can throw the tennis ball in the house!”) As you are splitting time between multiple children, it’s natural to feel a bit indebted to them. But changing or bending the rules is likely to end up making them more upset, not less. Like I said earlier, kids thrive on predictability and structure!
8. No matter how rough it gets, don’t let your toddler watch Paw Patrol
I know how effective the TV or your phone can be to buy you a few moments of peace and quiet, but screens are the ultimate swindler. The entire time your child is watching, blue light is flooding their eyes. This stimulates their brain and prevents that melatonin release needed at bedtime. That 15 minutes could easily cost you an hour or more trying to get your toddler settled in for the night!
9. Accept that it will not always go smoothly
Since we are talking about young children here, things frequently go a bit off the rails. Don’t look at this as a failure on anyone’s part! It’s normal to have regressions, rough nights, and meltdowns occasionally, but staying calm is the best thing you can do to prevent the situation from turning into something even more upsetting for everyone involved.
10. Enjoy the peace and quiet
Once all the kiddos are in bed, take at least 5-10 minutes before you start dishes, laundry, emails, or anything else you need to catch up on and simply let yourself unwind. Parenting is hard work and you’ve got to give yourself a few moments of peace and pat yourself on the back for another job well done. Celebrate the superhero you are! There will be another night of challenges and rewards for you tomorrow.
Sleep well!
