Can You Have a Social Life Post Sleep Training?

Congratulations! You’ve tackled teaching your child some independent sleep skills and now they are finally sleeping all night and taking restful naps during the day. This is a life changing achievement and you should be absolutely thrilled! Only…now what? Do you really need to plan life around your baby’s sleep schedule?

Teaching your baby the skills to fall asleep independently is the all-important first step, but there is going to be an ongoing commitment to your baby’s sleep that needs to be taken seriously. Scheduling life while still allowing for consistent naps and bedtimes can sometimes feel more challenging than those sleep training weeks when you basically camped out at home next to the crib. 

Sure, your little one is not waking up five times each night anymore, they are napping like champs, and the entire family is now getting the rest they deserve, but it can still be a bit stressful fitting your entire day around baby's naps and bedtime. 

I frequently tell families I work with to think of the initial stages of sleep training as the sprint, and then the time afterwards as the marathon. The first few nights of developing new sleep skills can be intense, but they are over quickly. After that, settling into a new groove and establishing a consistent pace is the goal. 

This may sound a bit daunting to some families. After all, running a marathon takes hard work but also comes with big rewards (or so I've been told by my runner friends, I'm no runner hah!). 

So here's the entire truth - both the ugly and the great sides.  

Yes, your baby's sleep schedule may feel pretty restrictive and you're going to have to honor it if you want to keep up with those wonderful, restful naps and low-protest bedtimes. Overtiredness will sabotage your baby's sleep and it can spiral out of control quite quickly. One skipped nap could lead to another, which leads to a rough bedtime, and so on. This could possibly mean you may miss out on some of the fun things. I'm not going to try sugarcoating it, this is the part that just kinda stinks. 

But this doesn't mean in any shape or form that you and your family are chained to your baby's crib. It only means there are a few tradeoffs. For example, let's say you're arranging a playdate and their only availability is during your baby's usual naptime. You may feel tempted to try and rearrange your little one's schedule to accommodate the playdate thinking how much more fun it would be and worth the slight shuffle in the schedule. 

But let's consider what the playdate may look like. If your baby is tired, and likely overtired by halfway through the playdate, is anyone going to be having any fun? In my personal experience, these kinds of scenarios usually end up in lots of fussing and tears. Neither child ends up having all that much fun and neither do the parents because you're too busy trying to settle your kids!

If you could see what this scenario might end up looking like, you would probably stick to your usual routine and arrange the playdate for another time when your baby can be rested and able to happily play.

The same goes for holidays, family gatherings, and other special occasions. A day at Disney may sound like an amazing experience that could tempt you to cram as much activity as possible into it, possibly skipping naptime, to make sure you and your family don't miss out on anything. But next time you find yourself in a theme park, take a look around. There will be some children having that wondrous magical experience, but there will be others having absolute meltdowns. I can't truly say without any kind of proof, but I bet those little ones don't actually hate Disney. They're just overstimulated, overtired, and in desperate need of some rest. 

So there's the tradeoff! You miss out on some time that could have been spent riding more rides or seeing another show instead of napping, but the time that your child does spend playing with friends or meeting all the princess characters is going to be so much more enjoyable because they're better rested. To me it's not even a contest. I'd gladly take quality of quantity every time, especially at these younger ages. 

There is one other thing I'd like you to consider, and this one is all about you for a change! Babies who have independent sleep skills are much easier to leave in someone else's care. Asking the grandparents to take your child for the night is more of a gift than a burden when your little one is a solid sleeper. And you can confidently have a sitter for the evening knowing that your baby will fall asleep easily and won't wake up in a fit because you aren't there to put them back to sleep! 

Other than your family getting the rest everyone needs, this is one of the biggest benefits of a baby with independent sleep skills. You should absolutely take advantage of it! Schedule date nights with your partner, have a girls' night with your besties, and book a solo trip to the spa for some relaxation, knowing that your child will happy while they are awake and sleep peacefully for naps and bedtime.  

So no, you will not need to stay home all day, every day after you teach your baby how to sleep well. But you will need to honor their sleep needs the same way you honor their eating schedule, which can be done with just a little planning and preparation. You can still enjoy fun gatherings and special occasions that make family memories, but with a lot less stress. 

Sleep well!